Divorce is a life-altering event. It does not matter who you are or whether you wanted out of the marriage or not. Divorce changes your life. I have experienced a lot of divorces in the nearly 23 years I have been in practice as a divorce lawyer. In this three-part blog series, I am diving into three common mistakes people make in the legal process to dissolve a marriage.
Mistake #3: Relying on bad advice.
People look to friends, family and others for advice and support when feeling hurt, sad, or disappointed. This is especially true for people going through a divorce. It is natural to want to commiserate others. It is also common for people to share their own divorce story with you when you are experiencing your own divorce. However, listening to other people’s divorce stories likely is not in your best interest and could have you spinning with unnecessary worry or thoughts.
Divorce is not one-size fits all
No divorce is the same. Your life and circumstances are unique to you and, therefore, your divorce story is unique to you as well. Comparing your situation to your friend’s divorce or having an expectation that your divorce will turn out the same way as your cousin’s divorce could cause you more stress and distress than you need. Similarly, be wary of commiserating too much or falling into repeated spouse-bashing sessions. Doing so may feel good momentarily but it will not help you think logically, make plans, and ultimately recover from the divorce.
Trust information from respected professionals
There are many aspects to a divorce – emotional, financial, and legal. Do not make the mistake of relying on bad advice. Do not bank on another person’s divorce experience as the road map for your own. Instead, if you are going through a divorce, rely on information and advice from respected professionals whose expertise is divorce or who have specific knowledge to assist you in the transition from divorce.